I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He passed out mid-signature
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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