Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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