The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
