Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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