Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
