I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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