I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
