hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
