Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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