worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
