tell your sister to shave her snatch
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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