took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize