Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We're too hungover to prance.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
