I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
