I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize