Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
