I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
