Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize