sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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