hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
