The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
