it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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