i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
