i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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