You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize