Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
