So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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