You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
