You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
