She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize