just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I supernannyed him into submission
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
