dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
