I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
