I'm going to jail i love you
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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