How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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