and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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