i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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