i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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