Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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