your room smells of hookers.
And success
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
