Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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