I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize