You can't motorboat a personality
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
