she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
