A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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