When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it was like eating out sand paper
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
