Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
