Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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