if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
