Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Randomize
