The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
