Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
