But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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