sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need mimosas to revive my soul
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize