I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
