Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
And my parents said I crawled through the house
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
