Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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