Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize