You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
