This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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