my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
