I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
