Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
